A new year (happy 2012) brings a new semester for me at university and therefore a renewed hatred for the bane of my life, train travel.
I am from Falkirk and my nearest stop is Polmont, one of those stations that you will never get off at and wonder "who lives here?" when you stop.
That's me folks. I'm the guy who stays in Polmont, a place so bad that the only directions anyone has ever asked me when they get off is: "Which way to the prison mate?"
All train travel is bad but at least Indian commuting has redeeming factors. Like pleasant commuters (even with the language barrier) or a sense that if it gets bad at least the engine fuel seeping through the floor might ignite and you will die.
Enduring half an hour of listening to some 'original gangstaa' blasting the Wu Tang Clan from his Dr Dre headphones before heading off to Uni for a day is like setting up a tartan factory in Scotland to be told it's not the 'in-thing' - total disappointment.
There are no pros to cramming yourself into an over-sized bog roll tube, though with a more pleasant interior. There are only cons.
To be honest, there is something to be said for hiding in the toilets on train journeys to avoid the conductor, for a few reasons:
1) The price of train fares is out of this world! (Coincidentally, this is where I would like to send the chief executive of Scotrail)
2) You can get a better conversation with the wall of a train toilet, rather then the moronic conductors.
3) Even a lone faeces on the cubicle floor is more pleasing then Scotrail train carpets.
Just buy a car folks.
